Power Tools : Nontraditional Families

Adoptive Parenting Power Tool: Attachment
by Ron Huxley, LMFT

Attachment uses a parent's emotional interaction with a child to promote healthy self-esteem. This tool doesn't necessarily refer to the amount of physical interaction. While physical interaction may be necessary to develop emotional bonding, it is not the essential component.

Attachment is essential during a child's early years. It communicates unconditional love and a deep sense of trust between parent and child. In a practical manner, children form this attachment when parents attend to their needs. When they are wet, they get changed. When they are frightened, parents are there to comfort them. When they are hungry, parents feed them. And when they hurt, parents care for them. When parents do not convey this empathy to children's needs, children may carry a sense of mistrust throughout their life. They also do not feel compelled to meet their parents' expectations or try to please them. Attachment is a tool that communicates to a child that their parent or parents are there for them. This promotes a healthy sense of self and ability to master their world.