posted 12-06-2000 09:17 AM               

"More than anything else, the more you avoid the subject the greater the curiosity you create for your child. My daughter had similar concerns and questions when she was your daughter’s age. This is how I handled it: I asked her what she thought happened and gently guided her to answers that would be supportive and comforting to her, but that were within the realms of our beliefs at home. She needed very little help, because she already had an idea, she just needed some support from me. She decided that those she loved would be with her always in one sense or another for her whole life, which agrees with our philosophy at home. I could go on and on with other revelations she had about the subject, but the point is it carried a lot more meaning to have her think about what happens to those you love as a result of death than to have me tell her. Even at three-and-a half, your child is already picking up your values and ideas by how you live at home, so she probably won’t stray of! ! f what your beliefs are, and I feel it reinforces parental values that much more within the child when the child is allowed to come to answers herself.

posted 12-06-2000 09:19 AM               

"I agree with the reply from Mia. In addition I would think about the reason for you child's question. Really, it may be a fear of loosing you. It is your quest to help her develop more security with her life.

My suggestion it to examine how you demonstrate you love. It is not how much you love you child, it is how much the child feels loved. Different personalities process input differently. What is your child's vantage point. For example, if your child craves warm fuzzies, and you are not into hugs and kisses, he will feel alone and insecure. Because that is how she relates to her world.

Well that is my view on such a question.